But they couldn't keep the
secret either. By evening the offices of our publicists in In any case, our happiness
had to be known. For twenty years we'd shared a kind of intimacy with the
public at large. I wanted them to share our joy just as they'd shared our
suffering. I believe you should never
hide your happiness. It lights up and cheers up the world. To keep it only for
yourself is to lose it. That day I felt a great
strength and peace coming over us. Definitely, it came from somewhere else.
But I knew that Rene was the one who had summoned that strength and peace to
us. When he fell ill, he had to
fight it. He couldn't just give up and let our happiness die. Instead of giving
up, he chose to fight with all his strength. He had to because of his love for
life, because of his love for me and for his children and his friends. And now that life that he
had so valiantly defended was struggling and growing in me. It would be the
proof that you have to believe in
17
happiness, the proof that love exists with as much intensity and as long as you believe in it.
Two weeks later, we saw the heart of our child beating, a small and rapid sound.
"One hundred and forty-two beats a minute. That's very good," said one of the doctors.
Then he made a quick count and announced that I was going to give birth on February 14, 2001.
Later, in August, after three months of pregnancy, we heard its little heart beat. At 162 beats a minute, a strong pulse. We recorded it, and since then have been listening to it every night before going to sleep.
We knew that all of it was still tenuous, that we needed patience, passion, joy, strength, and a lot of luck as well.
But we also knew that whatever happened, life had already triumphed.
1
I'11 never forget the day I sang in public for the first time. It was at the wedding of my brother Michel, who is also my godfather. I was five years old. I wore a long dress, blue with small white flowers, and white gloves. It must have been during the summer because Michel was married on his birthday, which is August 18.
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