I have never felt this
happiness so close at hand, so overwhelming, as I did that winter of 2000, during the first months of my
sabbatical. I had just lived through
the worst moments of my life. And yet, I saw something good, something
beautiful and meaningful everywhere, even in the hard times we had gone
through . . . At the beginning, such an
idea would have been unthinkable, almost monstrous. But little by little, I
began to accept it. Today I know that there is good in all misfortune. And I
thank heaven for the misfortune that befell us, because it transformed us. Rene, the man of my life,
my entire life, was seriously ill. Together we went through a very difficult
ordeal and emerged stronger, more united, more in love than ever. However, I
know that from now on, anxiety will be a part of our life. A kind of
carefreeness has, without a doubt, disappeared forever from our lives. But at
the same time, I know that it's possible to experience—even during the worst ordeal, even in pain and fear—great moments of happiness. Because we love
each other. Our ordeal changed me more
than all my professional experiences. Thanks to it, I've learned a lot about
myself, about the man I love, about love, even about life. I also learned of
his need for me. For the first time, he left himself go and truly confided in
me, and cried on my shoulder. And he told me he couldn't live without me. I've also had the extraordinary
chance to discover that there is a life outside of show business. Of course I
knew it—in theory—but I've learned it for real, in my heart, through my tears,
through hope and waiting. Actually, when
I took my leave from public life, I already saw
9
things differently. People, my profession. And all my other projects, including having a child, had taken a new twist. Rene's health had become what counted the most for me.
Despite all that we have lived, or maybe because of it—I'll never know which—we've rediscovered a kind of confidence in life, an appetite for living what's offered us, whether we wanted it, decided it, or not.
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